I had my dad, who is in the beauty business, rate NBA hairstyles

Sports

This is my dad. His name is Ed.

ED

(this photo was taken a while ago but I think it’s hilarious)

He went to cosmetology school, and he works for Hikari, a hair-cutting scissor company. Whenever I watch TV or movies with him, he always comments on people’s hair (whether it’s a sports game or the news). With all the wacky NBA hairstyles around the league this season, I decided to have him rate some of them.

If you know my dad at all, you’ll know why I thought this would be fun. I spent about 10 minutes showing him photos and getting feedback. This is the result, in no particular order.

1. George Hill

I told him to just say what he thinks for these. After showing him a photo of Hill, he eventually settled for “sheep’s wool,” and he left it at that.

2. Jeremy Lin

Without missing a beat: “the Beatles.”

My dad is convinced Kobe lies about his height, so for Jeremy Lin’s spikes, he said that Lin probably is just trying to add inches to make himself appear taller.

3. Lance Stephenson

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Late night work

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I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed, but Lance Stephenson is totally rocking a bowl cut. After chuckling at Hill and Lin, my dad said he actually likes Stephenson’s style. He called it very trendy and lovingly coined the term “shelf cut.” He added that you could also call Stephenson a “Chinese G” because his hair looks like the guys from old Chinese gangster movies.

4. Nick Young

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NY Talk To Me #NYInNY

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“Cheetos. Women love the Cheetos.” This is a real quote.

5. LeBron’s hairline

He laughed and said LeBron definitely had transplants because hair doesn’t reappear that quickly.

6. Kelly Olynyk

“He’s probably from Wisconsin or something. ’70s rocker. Modern day hippie. The NBA’s Fabio.” (Note: Olynyk is from Toronto. Apologies to Wisconsin and Canada for any offense, nothing against you guys, it’s just a hair thing.)

7. Kevin Love

“Antonio Banderas in Zorro.” He also added that it reminds him of Bill Walton’s hair, and it is similar!

Wikimedia Commons

Wikimedia Commons

“Everyone’s going retro,” he said, wisely.

Bonus: Carlos Boozer

There have been so many jokes made about Boozer’s sharpie-esque hair that I thought I’d spare Boozer from this list, but my dad brought him up without me even asking. AND SURPRISE!

My dad is probably the only person on the planet who genuinely likes Boozer’s marker hair. He described it as a Japanese hair dye (no idea if that’s 100 percent true), and he said it makes Boozer look like a “cool superhero.”

He said that NBA players should start wearing swim-type caps on their heads, so that then they could wear whatever hair they want. Essentially he proposed that NBA players should wear wigs while they play.

That concludes this edition of “My dad Ed rates NBA hairstyles.” Not sure if there will be more of these, but if you see weird hair and would like my dad to comment on it for some strange reason, feel free to let me know.

The Lakers’ season opener didn’t go very well

Sports

The Lakers went through an agonizing, epic fail of a loss in their season opener vs. the Timberwolves. The worst part wasn’t that they lost — the worst part was how they lost.

Everything looked OK from the jump. HELL YEAH LAKERS ARE BACK KOBE IS BACK EVERYONE GET HYPED. Nick Young did this after the first quarter to put LA up, 31-22:

Kobe had 15 points, hitting 6 of 13 shots, at the half.

The Lakers were outscored by 2 points in the third quarter, but they still held the lead going into the fourth quarter. Then…

EVERYTHING COLLAPSED AND BURNED.

The Timberwolves chomped up a 16-point deficit to win by 1 POINT, 112-111. The Lakers’ high-scorer in the fourth quarter was Jordan Clarkson, who had five points. The entire LA roster notched either a 0 or below-0 plus/minus except for Julius Randle who tallied a 1.

Afterwards, coach Byron Scott told the media:

Oh wait, that sounds familiar…

(check the year on that Serena Winters tweet)

Sigh. Welp. All I can say is SWAGGY’S STILL SWAGGY.

Times are changing in LA

Sports

I’m not talking about the drought. Nor am I talking about that huge earthquake that’s supposedly going to drop half of the Pacific Northwest into the ocean.

I’m talking about the Nick Young — the Lakers’ Mr. Hollywood — and his right arm. Waking up to this news this morning definitely made today feel more Monday-ish than usual.

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This amazing tweet is now irrelevant.

Until the next Swaggy P Watch update, just remember to stay swaggy because, “God blesses all the swag people.”

Nick Young is David Beckham, according to Nick Young

Sports

After hitting the swaggiest game-winner at Drew League, Nick Young spoke to the media. My good friend and LA News Group intern Alex Nieves was there to record the Q&A in which Swaggy P said something sort of ridiculous (which is no longer super surprising but still amazing nonetheless).

Reporter: We got D’Angelo coming into town and he has a little swagger, you think he could challenge you a little bit with that?

[OF COURSE NOT, WHO COULD CHALLENGE THE SWAG OF SWAGGY P. HIS NAME IS SWAGGY.]

Young: He’s just a little young, I’m more of a vet in this game. I’m like David Beckham. It’s hard to get to my sage right now.

InnocentOddballBeaver